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‘I’ve been stupid and I miss you’: the family members who buried the hatchet after years of silence

Brothers Bruce and Scott hadn’t spoken for 15 years when finally one made the call that would reunite them. How do people recover from decades-long rifts?“What happened?” Scott, 82, asked Bruce, 78, when his younger brother picked up the phone and called him after a 15-year estrangement. “I grew up,” Bruce said. “I’ve been stupid and I really miss you.” The brothers had missed a decade and a half of each other’s birthdays, milestones and memories made, but here they were, talking again as though no time had passed.A quarter of the adult population describe themselves as estranged from a relative; 10% from a parent and 8% from a sibling, according to research by Karl Pillemer, professor of human development at Cornell University and author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them. But when decades pass and rifts remain unhealed, what drives family members such as Scott and Bruce – or, rather more famously, the Gallagher brothers – to repair their ruptured relationships...


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