Have a fanfare sound as you unfurl some paper decorated with squiggles. Tell him it is an invitation written in ancient Ogham from the Little People inviting him to visit the land of the leprechauns
The article satirically advises Irish Taoiseach Micheál Martin on how to navigate a White House visit with Donald Trump, suggesting he adopt a dominant posture, avoid sensitive topics like Russia, flatter Trump excessively, and deflect potentially awkward situations with humor and misleading Irish phrases. The piece also implies various criticisms of Trump's policies, behavior, and understanding of Ireland.