3 h. ago If toxic humility is a thing, I definitely have it. But perhaps there’s another way | Emma Beddington

We’re taught that modesty is good and pride is bad. This ignores the fact that telling ourselves we’re OK is actually beneficial What’s your favourite thing about yourself? Stylist’s Love Yourself campaign asked over 400 women that, and published eight pages of their answers. People mostly picked low-key, quite specific stuff – “I can cook something out of nothing”; “I’m really strong”; “I can talk to anyone”; “I’ve got an excellent bum” – and it was lovely, and touching, to see women affirm what they like about themselves. It also felt strange – almost shocking? Stylist called giving yourself a compliment “squirm-inducing” and yes, the thought of doing it myself made me squirm.I feel something similar when I see people online expressing uncomplicated, justified pride in their achievements or liking who they are out loud – it’s a sort of “is that allowed?” feeling, like the rules have changed and no one told me. If toxic humility is a thing, I definitely have it, because I get a mas...

Events

1 week ago Former Met officer David Carrick sentenced for rape and molesting child

Convicted serial offender given further life sentence for crimes against 12-year-old girl in 1980s and former partnerFormer police officer and convicted sex offender David Carrick has been sentenced at the Old Bailey to life with a minimum of 30 years for molesting a 12-year-old girl and raping a former partner. Carrick, 50, who served as an armed officer in the Metropolitan police, sexually assaulted the child in the late 1980s, his trial heard. More than 20 years later, he repeatedly raped a woman and subjected her to “degrading and humiliating” abuse during the course of a toxic relationship.Mrs Justice McGowan sentenced Carrick for the fresh convictions on Thursday after he was found guilty of two charges of rape, one of sexual assault and coercive and controlling behaviour towards the woman between 2014 and 2019, and five counts of indecent assault relating to the girl in the late 1980s. Carrick’s offences came to light after he pleaded guilty in 2022 and 2023 to 71 sexual offe...

Events

2 w. ago Want to avoid anxiety, headaches and constipation? Try giving up on your goals | Emma Beddington

We’re taught from infancy that perseverance is a moral virtue and persistence pays. But what if quitters are happier and healthier?Have you ever heard yourself saying “I’m going to do this if it kills me”? As the pensioners at my gym can attest, it’s what I hiss every time I’m there, attempting slowly and laboriously to get myself a millimetre closer to doing the splits.But what if it actually is killing me? Not the groin strain, problematic as that is, but because I’ve just read in New Scientist that giving up is good for you, while grinding on isn’t. One study showed that people who “struggled to disengage from unfulfilling goals” had higher levels of cortisol and inflammatory molecules. “The result,” the article explained, “could be a heightened susceptibility to all kinds of conditions, including cardiovascular disease and Alzheimer’s.” In addition, “goal disengagement” – giving up – correlated with a lower risk of headaches, constipation and eczema; it may even protect against ...

Politics

2 w. ago Why I love Martha Stewart – the original unapologetic alpha woman | Emma Beddington

She bites her pets, dumped Hannibal Lecter and claims she was the original tradwife. For anxious, people-pleasing women like me, channelling some of her DGAF energy could do us some goodWith every year that passes, my decorative and culinary standards slip further, while, paradoxically, I become more obsessed with the former billionaire, felon, fancy fowl enthusiast and Snoop Dogg best buddy Martha Stewart. Stewart is, of course, the original domestic goddess, but also, she’s now claiming, the template tradwife. “I really was that woman. I was the original fucking tradwife,” she told the Lipstick on the Rim podcast, embellishing later, in an interview for the New York Times (marking the reissue of her 1982 cookbook, Entertaining): “And I was just as pretty as those girls, and more organised.”I suppose she’s not wrong – she was already combining the homemaking, empire-building and self-promotional elements that characterise tradwifery 40 years ago – but it’s not the most tactful or s...

Events

3 w. ago I’m a committed introvert – but no AI will take away the joy I get from other people | Emma Beddington

While it might be soothing to think you could replace social interactions like book clubs with ChatGPT, subcontracting human thought out to a bot will never bring happiness This is depressing: according to the Cut, people are using AI to solve escape room puzzles and cheat at trivia nights. Surely, that is the definition of spoiling your own fun? “Like going into a corn maze and just wanting a straight line to the end,” says one TikToker quoted in the article. There’s also an interview with a keen reader who uses ChatGPT as a book club replacement, scraping the internet and aggregating “stimulating opinions and perspectives”. All well and good (actually, no, it sounds bleak as hell) until he had a character’s death spoilered in the fantasy epic he had been enjoying.Meanwhile, Substack seems to be clogging up with AI-generated essays. The nu-blogging platform is an earnestly artisanal space where writers craft their stuff; subcontracting that to a bot seems like the acme of pointless...

Politics

4 w. ago Forget Jomo, gezellig and hygge – this winter, let’s get a grip and go out | Emma Beddington

The dark nights are here and staying in is more appealing than ever. But there’s a very real cost to not venturing outSince the clocks changed, a damp, dark blanket settles over York from about 5pm – and it’s brilliant; the perfect excuse to stay in. I love every quiet corner of home: my armchair, angled for a perfect view of bird goings-on and bleak skies outside; my marshmallowy bed; the sofa, stacked with blankets; the kitchen (I don’t cook, but it’s where snacks live). What could be nicer than sinking into the stifling embrace of multiple heated throws as a jacket potato crisps up in the oven and I succumb to a smorgasbord of good winter telly? Why would I ever move?Me and everyone else. Right? We’re sleepmaxxing and soup-making in our slippers, sparking up fairy lights and enthusiastically appropriating hygge and gezellig (Dutch for cosy). We’re sharing memes on the thrill of someone else cancelling social plans before we’re forced to and proclaiming our Jomo. It’s natural to r...

Politics