2 h. ago My weirdest Christmas: the oven was broken, the turkey was raw and all the crisps had been eaten

It wasn’t until 7pm that anyone noticed the unfolding crisis. As our hunger grew, my Mum came up with an unlikely and audacious planThe first sign that something was amiss was the smell – or rather, the lack of it. The roasted turkey aroma that usually wafted throughout the house on Christmas Day was conspicuous by its absence. My mum had spent the morning meticulously plucking fresh herbs and seasoning our plump bird but, so far, no scent.It was 2010 and the entire family, including aunts and cousins, had come to our house for dinner. After a morning gorging on chocolate and an afternoon snacking on picky bits (mainly crisps), appetites were peaking. The much-anticipated Christmas roast had been in the oven for about four hours and it was nearing 7pm. My mum, who had been busy keeping everybody happy by handing out snacks and managing the festive playlist, had taken only a scant look through the oven doors and assumed the meal was progressing nicely. As dinner time approached, she ...

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9 h. ago My weirdest Christmas: I was 11 and braced for tension. Then I found my parents and step

It was our first joint family Christmas, and I watched fearfully as my mum walked into the kitchen she had once called hers. The next 48 hours were full of surprisesThere are still moments I pinch myself: when, over the remnants of turkey and red wine, my divorced parents regale us all with an in-joke from their previous life. When, on the pre-lunch walk, my dad and stepdad stroll in lockstep and talk about finance and even feelings, occasionally. When we’ve all exchanged gifts, and the most thoughtful gifts are not between husband and wife or parent and child, but ones the divorced and remarried couples have given each other.We’ve been doing this for 25 years now, this joint family Christmas, complete with step-parents, parents and siblings. But every so often, I remember how weird it all once felt. The first time, when I was 11 years old, I watched fearfully as, on Christmas Eve, my mum walked into the kitchen she once called hers. Despite her initial efforts to pretend otherwise,...

Events

33 h. ago My weirdest Christmas: I insisted, through gritted teeth, that it would be fun to eat outside

It was 2020, and I hired a gazebo and heaters so we could have a festive feast with my mum in the garden. What could possibly go wrong?We called it “diffmas”, because it was going to be a different kind of Christmas. Our son was five, so we were trying to package it appealingly for him. But we might have done that anyway, given the kind of year we’d had – and by “we” I don’t just mean my family, I mean the world.It was 2020. When the then prime minister, Boris Johnson, had announced, in March, that we “must stay at home”, it left my mum, who had lived on her own since my dad died in 2012, completely alone, like many people, for months on end. Her work had involved travelling all over the country, having meetings, organising events, networking. Then, in lockdown, everything stopped. She was Zooming with the best of them, but it was clearly extremely difficult. Continue reading...

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50 h. ago My weirdest Christmas: I sat on a desk chair watching the strangest film I’ve ever seen

Away from our families, my flatmate and I hung out in his bedroom, Christmas lunch on our laps, watching a poorly written, jarringly inappropriate movieIn 2022, I was living in a flat in north London above a chicken shop, with two flatmates and a cockroach infestation (what did we expect, said the landlord, living above a takeaway?). My flatmate was from Lithuania, and was due to go home in January, and our other flatmate, his girlfriend, was away for Christmas. I’d been home to Canada the month before, so for Christmas Day itself it was just the two of us.I bought a small chicken to roast, and served it with stuffing I’d brought back from Canada – it’s the same concept as the stuffing in the UK but somehow fluffier and with more texture – and some pasta. I made brussels sprouts, trying to recreate a dish I like from a restaurant in my home town by cooking them with bacon, maple syrup, parmesan and a mayonnaise drizzle. It wasn’t very nice. We had some prosecco that my flatmate had ...

Politics

50 h. ago The 12 weirdest and most wonderful Christmas traditions from around the world

Here are some of the unusual ways countries around the world celebrate the festive season

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57 h. ago My weirdest Christmas: I spent three hours in a car with a screaming baby – and she completely changed my life

Her decibel level was almost operatic. But the sound of my first granddaughter wailing like an ambulance was the most beautiful I had ever heardJust days before Christmas in 2018, I took a flight from New York City to visit my family in southern Italy. My wife, Elvira, and daughter Caroline had moved to a small town in the countryside a few years earlier, and I planned in due course to join the festivities permanently.I’d made the trip before, once or twice a year since they moved, mainly to get the lay of the land. But this time was different. Caroline had recently had her first child and our first grandchild. And now, after making do with photos and videos, I was finally going to meet Lucia Antonia, all of 11 weeks old. Rarely in my life had I felt more giddy about an encounter in the offing. Continue reading...

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3 d. ago My weirdest Christmas: I took a family friend to A&E – and he went from peaky to barely responsive on the way

He insisted he was OK, but he didn’t look it, and when he tried and failed to eat Christmas lunch we knew it was time for a mercy dash to hospitalOur family friend has always been a larger than life figure. Witty, unsentimental – and not one to say no to another brandy. At family parties, he’s the one gossiping about the latest scandal to catch up with a local MP, or regaling us with tales of the outrageous philandering of various Sheffield Wednesday players over the past 40 years. He could make anything – a jacket potato, a broken relationship – funny, somehow.We would often spend Christmas morning with him and his family, before going our separate ways. But, one Christmas, about 10 years ago, when he was supposed to be meeting family abroad, he fell down the stairs, whisky in one hand, suitcase in the other, and broke his ribs. The hospital had patched him up and told him not to fly. So, here he was back with us in Sheffield, making the best of it, but looking increasingly peaky. ...

Politics

4 d. ago My weirdest Christmas: I tried to catch out Santa with a whoopee cushion – but the Big Man outwitted me

Who was Santa, really? Aged eight, I devised a cunning plan to catch him in the act, involving a booby trap and a camera. Unfortunately, the joke was on me It was Christmas Eve, 1987. The cold war was beginning to emit its last frosty guffs, Thatcher had set her sights on gay children, and Michael Fish was keeping his head down. In England’s deep south, my sister and I conspired in our bedroom. We are twins: she got the brains; I, being the eldest by a full six minutes, was to inherit the estates and titles, except there were none because my idealistic pinko parents had spent their working lives in public service.Earlier in the year, my sister had attempted to prove the existence of God. Worried about the health of her pet rabbit, Wodger, she penned him a letter pleading for help, with a rather clever “Please tick if you have read this” box at the end. Continue reading...

Politics

5 d. ago My weirdest Christmas: I was flirting wildly with my crush – then a rogue wave ruined everything

At a Barbados beach barbecue, I attempted to attract the attention of handsome Dwayne. I ended up with drenched hair and no sunglasses or bikini topChristmas in Barbados is different. Forget snow and scarves – we do Christmas in flip-flops, sweating through church services and pretending to feel festive because there’s tinsel on a palm tree. Everyone’s singing Mary’s Boy Child as if they’re auditioning for Caribbean Idol, and someone’s auntie is halfway through a bottle of Mount Gay before 11am.But my weirdest Christmas was when I was about 19 – that magical age when you’re convinced you’re grown, but you still have braces. My mum had taken me “back home” to spend the holidays with family. I was excited because 1) I needed a break from university, 2) I could finally escape the British winter, and 3) I was ready to find a husband. Continue reading...

Politics

4 w. ago Five of the weirdest Christmas specials put to the test, from mince pie wraps to Yorkshire pudding pizza

Fancy a Yorkshire pudding Christmas dinner pizza? Unfortunately, it’s entirely possible this year, report Josh Barrie and David Ellis

Politics