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My wife and I are suffering ‘lesbian bed death’. Is there any way back?

It’s 13 years since we had sex. My libido has come roaring back – but she’s not interestedMy wife and I, both women in our 60s, have been together for more than 20 years. We stopped having sex about 13 years ago, due to a combination of getting a dog (who sleeps with us) and her going through the menopause. I had a bit of a lull in my own libido when I went through menopause about nine years ago, but it came roaring back. She is not interested in sex at all and is also resentful that I have a hoarding problem, even though I’m in therapy for it. I think she may be using that as an excuse to withhold affection (when asked, she doesn’t confirm or deny it). Do you think there is any hope that we can resolve our “lesbian bed death”? We’re in couples therapy, but I don’t think it is helping much.The stance of “withholding affection” can be a fully conscious act or it can be unconscious. In other words, a person might be fully committed to her partner and (in principle) wish to be intimate...


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