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Tim Dowling: let my tortoise’s humiliating mishap be a lesson to him

A freak thunderstorm soaks the middle one on his way to our house (he’s come to raid the fridge), but the real drama is the toppled tortoise After an hour’s work on a hot morning I leave my office shed and return to the kitchen for a coffee. Halfway there I find the tortoise lying on his back on the path. He can’t have been there for more than an hour, as he wasn’t there when I came out.“What happened to you?” I say, setting him on his feet. But it’s pretty obvious what happened: he tried to exit the garden bed by climbing over the border of diagonally laid bricks and overbalanced. It’s an obstacle he surmounts without difficulty between five and 10 times a day in the warmer months, but occasionally – perhaps once every four years – he puts a foot wrong. So far, I have always been there to turn him back over. Continue reading...


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