Every night I hurl them off the bed. Every morning they are replaced. Off, on, off, on, for ever. Serving no purpose whatsoever. Scatter cushions and bedspreads. Why? What for? If it wasn’t for the waste and environmental impact, I’d make a huge pile and torch them all. You’d see the fire from the moon. Alternatively, pick them apart and make something useful out of them. I’d collect them by means of a national scatter cushion and bedspread amnesty. Post them to a facility and leave the rest to me.Let’s take bedspreads first. Big, heavy, useless. Especially the one on the bed at my mum’s house. I can’t always summon the strength to drag it off the bed and leave it in a heap on the floor. If I do, along with leaving no floor space for anything else, this earns me a fierce bollocking. I am commanded to heave it out of the bedroom and hang it on the bannister, which creaks beneath its formidable weight. Then, when my stay is over, I have to wrangle the bedspread back on to the bed, as ...
Adrian Chiles questions the purpose of scatter cushions and bedspreads, finding them useless and environmentally wasteful. He removes them from his bed nightly only to have them replaced daily. He suggests either destroying them or repurposing them and proposes a national amnesty to collect and dispose of them. He particularly dislikes the heavy bedspread at his mother's house.
