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‘What about me?’ The confusing jealousy of being spared the abuse my father committed against my sister

Writing about child sexual abuse is hard. Writing about the unfathomable, yet surprisingly common jealousy as the sibling of an abused child is even harderA winter’s day. My father in the dark room of my memory developing photographs. The door is shut. My sister stands with him. He aims to teach her the essentials of photography. How to turn a black and white negative rolled from the interior of his camera, unspooled in the dark, then bathed in trays of chemicals, to bring the past back to life in black and white.My sister’s special treatment as the only one of nine siblings to learn this skill does not go unnoticed, by me at least. I am 10 years old and long to learn, even as I want only to be an insect in the corner watching unseen. Continue reading...


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